quinnfabrayhbic:

puckasaurusrex:

For a while it had seemed like things were getting back on track for him and Quinn. They had finally found some degree of contentment regarding her pregnancy, and having settled on a plan of action, it was like everything was falling into place. Soon they would hopefully have a new apartment somewhere closer to Quinn, so that she, Beth and himself would be able to spend each together as a family, instead of every other weekend when his girlfriend could make it back to Lima. It had been a difficult decision, and there had been a lot of fighting before they made it, but Puck was warming to the idea of moving on with his family; his girlfriend and daughter and the baby to come. Yet everything had changed suddenly, and he still hadn’t been able to work out why it was. One minutes they were working together again, and the next it was like things had reverted back and were worse than ever.

Quinn had just returned from college as normal and it was like she were a million miles away. Half the time he wondered if she remember himself and Beth existed. If she wasn’t texting or Skyping Josh she was talking to Santana; even Brittany had come over to stay for a while and it was like an extra wall between them. At first, Puck had been convinced that he’d done something wrong, but no matter how hard he thought, for once he couldn’t think of what it was he was supposed to have done. Then he focused on her. Her behavior. She was so secretive, so closed off. She barely talked to him, and seemed so damn reluctant to be close to him. Even with Beth it was like she only spoke to her daughter when it was absolutely necessary. That particular night, Beth had been packed off to his mother’s for a sleepover so he and Quinn had some alone time, not that it felt like it. Her damn phone had been buzzing ever five minutes for the past hour or more.

“Who the hell is texting you so much?” Puck questioned, a tone of evident irritation in his voice as he looked away from the film that was playing on the screen to glance at his girlfriend, wondering if she’d rather he just went to bed and left her to continue to text whoever was on the other end of the phone, though he had a rough idea who it was…

Quinn was numb, there was no other word for it, she was completely numb.  She knew she should feel something, loss, regret, pain, but she couldn’t.  She wouldn’t let herself.  She’d rather feel nothing than what she knew would be unbearable once she admitted it to herself.  Instead she just pushed it aside, didn’t talk about it, didn’t think about it.  The few people that knew always just asking how she was and telling her to tell Puck, but she knew if she told him it would be real.  She’d have to feel it and there was no going back.  She knew this was her fault.  The day it happened she knew it was her fault.  No matter what Brittany or Josh told her otherwise she knew that to be truth.  It was why she couldn’t be around Beth much.    Beth deserved better, Puck deserved better and pushing them away would be easier than losing them too, especially once they found out her little secret.  

Quinn tried to be the good girlfriend, she tried to spend time with Puck and smile and joke, but her heart just wasn’t in it.  She was texting Josh trying to understand how to get back to normal, but all he told her was she needed to be honest with Puck and tell him the truth.  That was something she couldn’t do.  

She looked up from her phone at Puck’s question as she locked the phone and set it down.  ”Umm, Josh had questions about an assignment, no big deal.”  She looked down as the phone buzzed again.  ’Tell Him, he has a right to know’  were broadcast on the screen and she grabbed it hopefully before he saw.  ”I’ll just tell him to stop and i’ll talk to him tomorrow.”  She told Puck giving him a forced smile that she hoped passed as genuine.  

Josh. Of course it would be Josh. It was always that sly little fucker that she was so buddy buddy with. Yes, they had been through all this before. They were together, Quinn wanted him and not Josh. After all the fighting and fall outs, Puck had finally come to accept that, but now he was starting to doubt again. And it wasn’t even entirely his fault. Before it had been because of the distance. Quinn was in another state at college with her best friend Joshy boy for company all the time; it had fucked with Puck’s head but eventually they had sorted it out. As things got back to normal between him and his girlfriend, he saw the other man as less of a threat. They were happy and having a baby together, so that meant there really was no chance of Quinn eloping with pretty boy whats his face.

Yet lately the doubt was back. When Quinn was with him, she was always sending sly texts or Skyping in secret somewhere in the house. She was closed off, distant, except with whoever was on the other end of the phone who always turned out to be Josh. When he was around, she acted like a child doing something it shouldn’t be, clutching her phone like a stolen item. And because of that the doubts had sunk back in. What if something had happened between them? What if that was why she was so distant? She’d went back to college and suddenly everything had changed, was it because of Josh? It seemed plausible when his girlfriend seemed closer to someone half way across the country than her boyfriend who was right next to her. “Oh by all means, don’t let me stop you. Wouldn’t want to interrupt your socializing,” He scowled, getting to his feet, tossing down the remote. “I’m getting another drink. You want anything?”